There are things we do everyday that we don't catch the significance of. When I read Freud he said there is a specific reason and inclination behind every action. The exact driving force that prompts us to move forward and commit the act that was written into our genes or one that was nurtured by society if not self nurtured with sheer will. See I'm not talking about the knee shaking or the ice eating that speak of sexual frustration. We only talk of them because they're fashionable to talk about the less frustrating when brought out into the open. There's more of course. I'm talking about the simple things like eating M n Ms after a smoke when in actuality you don't smoke. And then eating only three and you notice that two of them are yellow and one of them is brown. You know what Jennifer Lopez's character said in the movie 'The wedding planner'? she says she only eats the brown ones because she thought that they were the most pure without any additives of artificial flavors. We do the simplest of things and for the simplest of reasons but it isn't something you can talk about at parties or impress your friend with later when you're all sitting in a session and trying to look cooler. Not even cooler, but with someone who people listen to. Even if they're actually just trying to spot cleavage in my case sometimes, being female and all.
The yellow M n M in all possible actualities is just a statistical probability. Because if you count all the M n Ms in the pack you'd work it to the exact factorial probability of the number of yellow M n Ms in that pack. Truth is I don't have time to count M n Ms in the pack much less the yellow ones, nor do I remember what Dr. Shafiq used to drone on in Probability and Stats during the lecture at college. the exact equation eludes me, but that's my point. the simple act of coming across two yellow m n ms and then thinking that impurity wise you're only taking in additives because you once heard JLO say it somewhere in a corny girly movie that you cooed over for a few days before the sequel to the 'Matrix' came out.
We get simple things and complicate the hell out of them. Love is one of them. We fall in love and then we fall out of love thinking that's life when actually we're justifying something that is just simple and cannot be blamed on life. If you can eat when you're hungry and pee when your bladder's full, they why can't you love when you need it and let go when you don't? See the whole distinction between human and animal is just about the whole morals of the issue. In this case, leaving someone when you don't love them. Then there's the issue of leaving someone because you love them. It's all really simple in the end. that's the way love works. Like wakeful hours are spent working and sleep is spent dreaming. The two realities co-exist and paradox each other, just like being in love and then falling out of it.
A simple thing like eating the last m n m and then reaching out instinctively for another without realizing they're all gone is something simple like making a mistake. Then we sit there like idiots wondering if we ate it or there's a poltergeist in their room that miraculously takes things away from you when you least expect it. The wind playing tricks on you. Deja-vu. The way a man thinks of sex all day long and a woman pretends she doesn't is instilled simply because its fashionable. The genders are not about boobs or facial hair. If a man had boobs, I'd stare. Simple. Why complicate the hell out of it with the psychological drive of a woman and man and confuse it with the ideas of a man who was just a man. In case you're wondering I'm talking about Freud again. Just a man.
I guess its not only fashionable to talk about complicated things but its interesting. No one wants to talk about a rose being a rose or a half glass of being just a half a glass of water. It's always about the rose being a flower that comes with thorns and the glass either being half empty of half full. Just like leaving the man of your dreams because you have to is the morbid tale of many tragic novels and poems, but no one speaks of two people just coming together an leaving. Just like that. Simple. It's always things meant to be and how it should have been. The right and wrong. But come to think of it. The right and wrong issue is the simplest of them all. it can never be both and just can never coexist. There no transition as there is with night and day. Just the simple contrasts. But no one talks of simple contrasts anymore. They like the shades of gray where they're more wriggle room to talk about half truths and half lies.
It's one of the reasons why we lie so much with every breath that we take. And I've realized that the more I try and be honest, I have to lie about my honesty, to justify it with sarcasm if not shroud it with wit. When it's just that. The truth. Telling it like it isn't doesn't shade a damn thing. Only in our minds and that's where the problem lies I gather. Our minds like to rationalize, reason and analyze to find out the whys and the wheres and being human, The truths that can't be swallowed we take them down with some water like the painkillers after a particularly killer migraine. Almost truths that can be explained in a complicated way so that they become simple to make people believe you have the capability to hold a conversation. In your head or otherwise. To talk about crime and poverty and murder and forgiveness.
Like moose butt heads to fight over territory and we're more than just animals.
Pick up the truth and complicate the hell out of it.
And we're human.
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