Chapter 1 - Stupid Cupid

Lucian leaned lazily against the edge of the rooftop, silver eyes narrowed into bored slits as he watched the two hopeless idiots below him. He flexed his wings, invisible to the mortal eye, and adjusted the gleaming, enchanted crossbow in his hands, setting the sights on Jack and Jill. Gods, humans were pathetic.

He spoke aloud to no one in particular, his voice a tired drawl dripping with sarcasm.

"Alright, assholes, let's wrap this disaster up. Fall in love, kiss, frolic into the sunset, and let me retire in peace. Sound good?"

He aimed, the arrow glowing softly, ready to end his misery once and for all.

"Not to me." A voice snarked from behind him, and before he could pull the trigger, a hand shot out, grabbed the stupid pink glowing arrow from his crossbow.

Lucian barely had time to register the interference before instinct kicked in. His fingers clenched the other end of the arrow as he spun, wings flaring in annoyance. His silver eyes landed on the tiny menace now holding the other half of his very important, very last enchanted shot.

His scowl deepened.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me." He yanked. Hard. "Drop it, devil woman."

Rose froze, her green eyes like saucers as she stared at the spectacle before her. 

Oh, be still my heart and panties. 

She'd expected...well. Not this. 

He was tall, built like a punk rock star with hair the color of moonlight and eyes the color of mercury and a body that probably should have been on the cover of magazines. And that wasn't the hottest thing about him. The boy knew how to accessorize. 

Damn. 

"Whoa...you are...not supposed to look like that."

Lucian’s scowl twitched, just a fraction, before settling into something even more unimpressed. His grip on the arrow tightened.

"And you," he muttered, voice edged with disdain, "aren't supposed to be here." He gave another sharp tug, glaring down at her.

"Seriously, who just walks up to a man with a loaded crossbow and decides to play grabby hands? Are you stupid or just suicidal?"

She blinked, and the haze of his sexiness cleared as he scowled at her. 

Wow, hot and completely rude. 

Her mouth twisted into a grimace. "Okay, talking completely fixes it. Yeah." 

She kept her hand firmly on the one end of the arrow, digging her feet in and holding her ground. She'd been small all her life, at five feet four, and she had four brothers. She could hold her own. 

"I thought Cupid was supposed to be a semi-sexless baby with diapers or something." She leaned sideways to have a look at his ass like she was making sure.

Lucian yanked the arrow again, jaw tightening as she actually leaned to check out his ass. His patience, already razor-thin, was officially nonexistent.

"Do I look like I wear diapers, you deranged little gremlin?" His wings twitched, a sharp flick of irritation, and he towered over her, yanking once more—harder this time.

"Let go, now, before you do something catastrophically stupid and—"

Snap.

The glow flickered, sputtered—then died.

Lucian went still. His gaze dropped to the two broken halves in their hands.

For one long, awful second, there was silence. Then, slowly, deliberately, he looked back up at her.

His voice was eerily calm. "What. Did. You. Do?"

"Oh oh," she muttered and then stared down at the once-glowing pink arrow and the black, lifeless wood that it was now. "That does not look good." 

She examined the broken end of the arrow in her hand and wrinkled her nose. "Oh yeah, that's busted. Oops?" She shrugged and looked at him like it couldn't be helped now.

Lucian just stared at her.

Oops.

Oops?

His eye twitched. His fingers flexed around the useless piece of wood in his grip, and for the first time in centuries, he felt something dangerously close to homicidal rage.

"Oops?" His voice came out low, tight, barely restrained. "That was my last arrow. Do you have any idea what you've just done?"

And then, like the universe itself wanted to mock him, a burning sting seared around his wrist. He hissed, jerking his arm back, only to see black ink curling around his skin—twisting into the shape of a broken arrow.

A heartbeat later, he heard the exact same hiss from her.

She screeched with pain that turned into a hiss as the arrowhead seemed to sizzle into her skin and disappear into her arm. She watched in horror as its shape appeared on her left wrist like it had been absorbed. 

"What the hell is happening!" She scrubbed at her wrist and held it out to him. "Get it off me!"

Lucian barely spared her a glance, too busy snarling at the same cursed mark now burned into his skin. He clenched his fist, breathing hard through his nose, trying—failing—not to lose his mind.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me." His wings flared out before snapping back against his spine, his entire body radiating furious disbelief.

He grabbed her wrist without thinking, holding it up next to his own. Identical. Perfectly mirrored. A binding mark.

His silver eyes burned into hers, voice a lethal growl. "You absolute menace. Do you know what this means?"

She yelped when he grabbed her and pulled her closer, her big green eyes going even wider. Suddenly, they were trained on his wings as they fluttered and trembled with his emotions. "Um...you're having a tiny baby fit?" 

Lucian inhaled sharply. Deep breaths. Don’t kill the mortal. Deep breaths.

His grip tightened—just for a second—before he forced himself to let go, stepping back like touching her physically offended him. His wings flexed again, agitated, before vanishing entirely as if he was done letting her gawk at them.

"No," he ground out, voice taut with rage. "I am not having a—" he clenched his jaw, "—tiny baby fit. You, little nightmare, have just bound yourself to a god.”

He held up his wrist, shoving the mark in her face. "This? This is a tether. A curse. We stray too far from each other? It's going to yank us back together. Painfully."

He bared his teeth, eyes dark with fury. "So congratulations, sweetheart. You just handcuffed yourself to a celestial being. Hope you like company."

 She snorted with laughter and looked at him like he was insane. 

"Yeah, I'm going to go. And you can just get another arrow. Geez." 

She rolled her eyes and turned to start walking away from him, grumbling about stupid bad boys. And then her feet were glued to the concrete as she went still. 

"What the hell..." She felt it. Something was pulling at her, something compelling her to walk. But not away, but back to him. 

Something that pulled stronger the longer she stayed.

 Lucian folded his arms, watching with cold amusement as realization dawned.

"Ah." He tilted his head. "There it is."

He barely suppressed a smirk as she tensed, her body fighting against the invisible force dragging her back. "Go on, then." He waved a lazy hand. "Keep walking. See what happens."

The second she took another step, the tether snapped.

With a violent jolt, Rose was yanked backward—straight into him.

One moment she'd taken a growling step forward, and then next, she was sling-shot back into him like a hurtling fireball, screaming.

Lucian barely had time to brace before she slammed into his chest, nearly knocking him back a step. He caught her on instinct, hands gripping her arms as she crashed into him, a blur of wild curls and flailing limbs.

"For fuck’s sake—" He gritted his teeth as the impact sent a sharp sting through the bond. His grip tightened as she squirmed, and he glared down at her, his face inches from hers.

"Told you," he said flatly, voice dripping with I-told-you-so satisfaction. "You’re stuck with me now, sweetheart.”

She shoved herself out of his arms, disheveled and panting, and her lovely green eyes now wide with horror. "Undo it!"

 Lucian snorted, dusting off his coat like she was the one who’d offended him.

"Oh, sure. Let me just snap my fingers and undo ancient celestial magic," he drawled, rolling his silver eyes. "Maybe I should try turning it off and on again.”

Then his expression darkened, jaw tightening as he held up his wrist, the cursed mark glaring back at him.

"This isn’t some cheap party trick, devil woman. You broke my last arrow. That was divine energy. You think it just disappears?" He huffed a humorless laugh. "No. It reworks itself. And now? We’re tied together until I fix it.”

He crossed his arms, looking her up and down with deep, suffering disdain. "Which means you’re officially my problem."

"I didn't break the damned arrow you were about to use on Jack and Jill!" She huffed and glared down at the half arrow on her wrist, peering at it, trying to figure out if it was just a mark or the whole black wood was under there. It felt normal. "The stupid witch said nothing about this."

Lucian went still.

His eyes sharpened, silver gaze locking onto her. "The what now?"

He stepped closer, looming, wings flickering back into view in his irritation. "Did you just say a witch?" His voice was slow, deliberate, like he was making sure he’d actually heard her right.

"You mean to tell me," he continued, tone dropping into something dangerously close to incredulous rage, "that you didn’t just randomly decide to ruin my night—you actually planned to interfere?"

"Those two don't deserve the stupid ass destiny you were about to hand them and I wasn't about to stand back and let them be whatever crappy mojo you hit people with." She snorted and crossed her arms, her green eyes completely without remorse. "So yeah, I saw a witch about a spell."

Lucian stared at her, utterly stupefied by the sheer, mind-melting audacity.

Then, very slowly, he dragged a hand down his face, exhaling a long, suffering breath.

"Unbelievable." His voice was tight, like he was physically restraining himself from launching her off the rooftop. "*You meddled in divine matchmaking—the literal fabric of fate—because you had a personal vendetta?"

He let out a humorless laugh, pacing a short, angry circle before rounding back on her.

"Do you have any idea how many laws of existence you just broke?" His wings snapped wide in frustration. "How many centuries of carefully calibrated celestial equilibrium you just—" He cut himself off, shaking his head. "Gods, I hate mortals.”

Rose huffed, tossing her strawberry curls over her shoulder as she gave him a completely remorseless look. "To see the two of them fail at a stupid happily ever after. Worth it."

Lucian let out a slow, measured breath—because if he didn’t, he was going to commit violence.

"Worth it," he echoed, voice laced with disbelief. "You—" He stopped, pinched the bridge of his nose, and made a sound that was very close to a growl.

Then he pointed at her. "You just doomed yourself to celestial house arrest with me because you couldn’t handle your ex moving on, and you have the absolute gall to stand there and say it was worth it?”

His scowl deepened, eyes gleaming like molten silver in the dim light. "You are—without a doubt—the single most insufferable mortal I have ever met.”

She threw up her hands and glared right back at him. "Okay, I didn't KNOW you'd break the arrow. I didn't KNOW it would bind me to you. Does it look like I want to play babysitter to a sexless winged baby playing rock star wannabe?"

Lucian let out a sharp, humorless bark of laughter. "Sexless?" He took a deliberate step closer, his towering frame all dark amusement and barely leashed irritation.

"Sweetheart," he drawled, his silver eyes dragging over her like he was personally offended by the accusation. "If I were sexless, the entire Greek pantheon would cease to function.”

Then he smirked—sharp, wicked, dangerous. "And if I’m a rock star wannabe, what does that make you?" He flicked a finger at her wrist, where the broken arrow tattoo burned against her skin. "My number one groupie?"

She let out an incredulous, mocking laugh. "Tsk. It is the absolute in arrogance that you make the entire pantheon go round because you're well hung." 

She narrowed her eyes at him, not the least bit intimidated by him. "And I am not your groupie. I'm your worst nightmare."

Lucian smirked, slow and smug, like she’d just proven his point.

"Oh, I don’t know, sweetheart." His voice dropped, rich with mockery as he leaned in just enough to invade her space. "You sure seem interested in my—" he gave her a look, "—qualifications.”

Then he straightened, the amusement in his silver eyes turning razor-sharp.

"But you’re right about one thing." His grin turned cruel. "You are my worst nightmare. Because thanks to you, I’m stuck here, babysitting a vengeful little gremlin who thinks she’s smarter than the gods.”

He flexed his fingers, rolling his shoulders like he was trying to shake off the unbelievable headache she’d just given him. "And I’m not a fan of babysitting.”

"Your qualifications can go fuck themselves. Your winged, baby diaper portrait is literally on every greeting card today. Valentine’s should be smudged from history." She growled and started walking. "Walk, stupid cupid, I got places to be. Like wringing the neck of a certain witch."

Lucian let out a sharp, incredulous laugh, watching her storm off like she actually had a choice in the matter.

"Oh, by all means," he called after her, crossing his arms. "Go ahead. Walk.”

Three… two… one—

The tether snapped.

And just like before, she was slingshot backward, hurtling straight toward him with an undignified yelp.

Lucian barely moved this time, catching her like it was a chore, his grip firm as he looked down at her with the deadpan patience of a man two seconds from snapping.

"How’s that working out for you, nightmare?"

"Damn you Cupid, we can't FUNCTION if you keep standing there." She growled and shoved herself away from him. 

But this time she kept her eyes away from him. 

Dear god, he was built like a rock. 

And she found herself plastered to his shirtless chest each time. It was starting to make her blood heat. "The witch is the one who screwed us over, do you not want answers?"

Lucian rolled his eyes, dusting off his hands like she was the one throwing herself at him.

"Oh, now you want my help." His tone dripped with mock surprise. "What happened to all that big talk about going off on your own?"

But then he sighed, tilting his head back toward the sky like he was asking the universe why it hated him. "Fine." He flicked a hand toward her, his expression flat. "Lead the way, nightmare. But if this witch tries any more of your bullshit?" He smirked, sharp and deadly. "I’m setting something on fire.”

"Do you want to be tethered to me until I die? Because that's what's going to happen if you don't start walking." She grunted and pulled on the tether, pulling him forward as she tried to walk. "Come on, you, big moose!"

Lucian stumbled forward with an annoyed grunt as the tether yanked at him.

His silver eyes blazed with irritation as he caught his balance, wings flickering in and out of view with his growing frustration. "Moose?" He glared at her. "I am an eternal being of celestial power, and you’re calling me a fucking moose?”

He let out a slow, murderous breath before muttering, "Gods, just smite me already." Then, with a dramatic roll of his eyes, he finally started walking beside her, matching her pace with all the enthusiasm of a man heading to his own execution.

"Let’s go find your damn witch before I decide to drop you off a building just to see what happens.”

She walked onto the fire escape and began to climb down, grumbling and huffing and sounding like a building hurricane. "Can you kill her after she unbinds us?"

Lucian followed, his movements lazy and effortless as he dropped down the fire escape instead of climbing, landing beside her with infuriating ease.

"Oh, now you want me to kill someone." His voice was all dry amusement. "Funny how suddenly you respect my godly talents when they involve murder.”

He gave her a slow, wicked smirk. "But sure, sweetheart. Once she unbinds us?" He cracked his knuckles. "I’ll happily smite the bitch.”

Rose nodded, as if completely unperturbed by unleashing his divine wrath on the woman. She started walking towards a pretty pink bug parked across the street. 

"You should be good for something besides making those idiot women walk into lamp posts." She glowered at a woman who was doing exactly that, grinning and watching Lucian as she nearly knocked herself out.

Lucian barely spared the poor woman a glance, his smirk deepening as he strolled after Rose. "Not my fault mortals have the self-preservation skills of a wet paper bag."

Then his eyes landed on the car.

He looked up at the sky. Pleading. Oh, Zeus, take me now!